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5701 W Slaughter Lane
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Back to PLAYS page Back to FULL-LENGTHS
EXCERPT FROM EVEN A Full-Length Play By Stephen Bittrich
CONTACT ME FOR A FULL COPY. 1ST SCENE ONLY. WARNING - ADULT CONTENT & LANGUAGE. 5701 W Slaughter Lane
Suite A130-204
Austin, TX 78749
Tel: (646) 245-4507
E-mail: SBittrich@aol.com
Copyright ©
by Stephen Bittrich
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"EVEN"
By Stephen Bittrich
Act I
Scene 1
SETTING:
A beat down motel room in Arizona off
highway 66. Late in the afternoon.
The present.
AT RISE:
DAISY, a pretty, coltish 17 year old,
sometimes precocious, sometimes
immature, knocks at the screen door.
(Yes, these motel rooms have screen
doors.) Like so many teenagers, she
dresses like a total slut. After a
moment, JOHNNY, 40ish, fond of his
drink and life weary, six foot three
and about 250 pounds of him, wearing an
open robe, loose shorts, and slippers,
meanders to the door tinkling the
remaining ice cubes of a downed scotch.
JOHNNY
Yeah?
DAISY
Hi.
(JOHNNY takes her in for a long
moment)
JOHNNY
Hi.
(HE crunches some ice from his
glass)
DAISY
Hi. Um, I was just...I brought you some cookies. Butter
cookies, right? I saw you buy them the other day at the
supermarket.
JOHNNY
(a grunt)
Mm.
DAISY
And--and some scotch too. A bottle of Johnny Walker Black,
right? They're gifts.
JOHNNY
Okay.
(beat)
Do I know you?
DAISY
No, no, well...I mean, we "met" at the Piggly Wiggly...
briefly. Not really met, but you--you like looked at me.
JOHNNY
Mmm. Looked at you.
DAISY
Yeah, in a way which was to say, you know, "What's up? Like
to know you better."
JOHNNY
I said all that.
DAISY
Yeah...
(beat)
...you don't remember me?
(JOHNNY takes another
uncomfortable pause
JOHNNY
Pepperidge Farm?
DAISY
What? Oh, yeah. Yeah, Pepperidge Farm butter cookies with
the little chess figures on them.
JOHNNY
They have a slight...glaze...which is nice.
DAISY
Really I never ate one in my life.
JOHNNY
They're tasty.
(beat)
Did you wanna come in?
DAISY
Yes.
(HE opens the screen door, and
SHE scoots sideways past him
into the room)
JOHNNY
(not sorry)
Sorry about the mess. Wasn't expecting company.
(And how. The place, a small
trashy hotel room with two
single beds, an awesome
watercolor painting of the Bob
Ross variety with plenty of
"happy little trees and
clouds," once cheerful cheap
flaking wallpaper, and a
bedroom set from the 70's,
looks like it hasn't been
cleaned since the 70's)
DAISY
That's all right. When people just drop by unannounced, they
can't exactly expect, um, Martha Stewart. Right?
JOHNNY
Mm hm.
DAISY
I always felt certain types of cleaning were, like,
completely dumb anyway. Making the bed? Whatever, right?
You're gonna sleep in it in like fourteen hours anyway. Does
it really fuck with your Feng Shui or whatever that bad to
outweigh how pissed off you feel about making it in the first
place? And ironing. We can send robots to Mars. Hello?
All irons should be shipped off to the museum of pointless
appliances. Right...?
(beat)
I'm talking like a geek. Here. Here's the scotch and the,
um, Pepperidge Farm cookies.
(SHE hands him the Piggly
Wiggly bag)
JOHNNY
Thanks. You want some?
DAISY
No. No, thanks.
JOHNNY
Club soda? Orange juice?
DAISY
No, thanks.
JOHNNY
Might have some vodka.
DAISY
Nope. Well, maybe just some water if you've got it.
JOHNNY
Think I might.
(DAISY clears some junk off of
a chair and sits down while
JOHNNY goes into the bathroom.
SHE sits for a moment taking
in the scene, a little
skittish. HE returns shortly
with a glass of water in a
motel glass)
JOHNNY (cont'd)
Arizona's finest--fresh from the tap.
DAISY
Thanks.
JOHNNY
Scuse me while I put on a shirt.
DAISY
Okay.
(JOHNNY picks up a couple of
shirts from the bed, smells
the pits, until HE decides on
a wrinkly Hawaiian number)
JOHNNY
(unapologetically)
Laundry day tomorrow.
DAISY
Yeah.
(HE sits on the bed, opens up
the fresh bottle of scotch and
pours himself one. Leans back
comfortably, stretching
himself out. HE holds up his
motel glass--)
JOHNNY
Here's to--good timing.
DAISY
Oh, yeah. Cheers.
(SHE lifts her water and
teeters it from side to side,
returning the salute)
JOHNNY
Mmm hmm. So. What's your name?
DAISY
What? Oh...Nikki.
(pause)
JOHNNY
You know my name?
DAISY
Yes.
JOHNNY
So what's the story, Nikki? You a fan? You come to catch a
peak?
DAISY
No.
JOHNNY
No? You a freak show enthusiast?
DAISY
I mean, I know who you are, but I didn't come here to like
get your autograph or anything.
JOHNNY
I usually get the "or anything" girls.
DAISY
Really? So girls come here all the time and shit?
JOHNNY
Not so much lately. But it happens.
(beat)
I'm incognito these days.
DAISY
Yeah, for real. I figured. This place is like nowhere. Why
else would anyone live here unless they were in hiding?
JOHNNY
So you don't live here?
DAISY
No. No, I'm just passing through.
JOHNNY
Just passing through. That right.
DAISY
Yep.
JOHNNY
So'd you wanna chat? That what we're doin'?
DAISY
If you want.
JOHNNY
Sure. How old are you?
DAISY
Um, eighteen.
JOHNNY
When was your birthday?
DAISY
(quickly)
June 5th, 1988.
JOHNNY
Damn. Right on the tip of the tongue. So you just turned
eighteen then.
DAISY
Yep.
JOHNNY
What's your sign?
DAISY
Oh...I don't believe in that shit.
JOHNNY
You don't know your sign?
DAISY
Nope. Like Cancer or something?
JOHNNY
Mmm hmm.
(beat)
So you don't wanna see it?
DAISY
What? See what?
JOHNNY
See what the "or anything" girls come here to see.
DAISY
No! No.
JOHNNY
That's not why you came?
DAISY
I just wanted to--to talk.
JOHNNY
Cool. So talk.
(Silence. SHE gets up and
looks around the room, picking
up things, looking at all his
crap)
DAISY
So you like live here now?
JOHNNY
Yep.
DAISY
Must be really different living here...than LA, I mean.
Really different.
JOHNNY
Mmm hmm.
DAISY
How do you get food? No kitchen. Do you always eat, what,
take-out? Or what?
(HE points to a box underneath
some clothes. The refrigera
tor)
JOHNNY
I have a 'frigerator. I have a hot plate. You can do a lot
with a hot plate. Eggs, soup, and I can make a pretty mean
chili on a hot plate. The motel bar makes pretty good eats.
Sometimes take out...but it pains me to tip the delivery guy.
Different at a bar. Don't mind tipping a good bartender.
DAISY
Must be lonely out here.
JOHNNY
Sometimes. People that run the motel are nice.
DAISY
I mean, is this place even a town? Does it have a name?
JOHNNY
No. No name. Just a speck of dust off the highway.
(beat)
Next question.
DAISY
Oh, I'm not questioning you.
JOHNNY
Really? Seemed a little like a sort of an interview.
DAISY
No.
JOHNNY
No? You don't work for a magazine?
DAISY
No.
JOHNNY
You sure?
DAISY
Yes.
JOHNNY
I won't be mad.
(SHE shrugs)
JOHNNY (cont'd)
So who are you passing through with?
DAISY
What?
JOHNNY
Who are you traveling with?
DAISY
By myself.
JOHNNY
Just you. On your way...?
DAISY
I dunno. Maybe Texas. Maybe even New Orleans. See what's
left. Passing through...destination unknown.
JOHNNY
Got here yesterday.
DAISY
Yep.
JOHNNY
Where'd you sleep?
DAISY
My car. Hotel Volkswagon.
JOHNNY
Wow.
DAISY
Yeah.
JOHNNY
So lemme get this straight. You're just passing on through
all by your lonesome. You stopped by chance...yesterday...at
the Piggly Wiggly, which is by the way eight miles off the
main highway, and you just accidentally ran into me. Cause I
smiled at you, some shit, you kindly purchased me a couple of
my main staples, thank you kindly, one with a fake id I'm
assuming. Your name is Nikki. Nikki. That's your name, you
say. And your birthday is June 5th, making you, by the way,
a Gemini, not a Cancer. Is that the story?
DAISY
It's not a story.
JOHNNY
And you just happened to track down the shitty flea bit motel
where I live.
DAISY
Oh, I asked this guy, Mike, at the meat section where you
lived. He told me.
JOHNNY
Mike at the meat section.
DAISY
Yep.
JOHNNY
That's some fascinating bullshit.
DAISY
(a little edgy suddenly)
Do you have like trust issues? Did you screw over some
people in your past or something? Is that why you're hiding
out?
(HE rises from the bed, takes a
step toward her)
JOHNNY
Not sure I wanna chat any more, Nikki. So why don't you get
to the point, or pass on through?
(SHE softens again, picks up a
worn photo from the dresser)
DAISY
Beautiful girl. Did you know her?
JOHNNY
Did I know her?
DAISY
Yeah.
JOHNNY
Why else would I have a picture of her...her...on my bureau
if I didn't know her.
DAISY
I dunno.
JOHNNY
What makes you think I don't still know her?
DAISY
Looks like an old picture. Like from the 80's or something.
JOHNNY
Mmm hmm. Yeah, it's a fuckin' antique.
DAISY
She's pretty. Who was she?
JOHNNY
Somebody I knew...in the 80's.
DAISY
Where is she now?
JOHNNY
What, you want it outta my lips?
(pause)
DAISY
Y-Yes.
JOHNNY
Okay, Nikki, Nikki. She's wearin' a pair of angel wings
'bout now.
(DAISY skits away from the
dresser, away from him, and
stands in the bathroom
doorway)
DAISY
That's poetic. How you put it. Sounds like you care.
JOHNNY
I don't care about much...Nikki...but I did care about her.
DAISY
Really?
JOHNNY
That's the truth. Cross my heart...
(beat)
...and hope ta...hope ta die.
(HE crosses back to the bed,
loosing his balance and
bracing himself for a moment
on the bed on the way. HE
pours himself another scotch)
DAISY
You okay?
JOHNNY
Yeah...yeah...and you ain't no damn Gemini.
DAISY
What, like you know about signs and shit?
JOHNNY
As a matter of fact....
DAISY
So if I don't fit the profile, the Gemini profile...what is
the Gemini profile? Is it like schizo or something? Dual
personality. They're twins right? Am I not schizo enough?
JOHNNY
Gemini's are communicative, charming, observant, they like
lively conversation...
DAISY
Sounds just like me. Aren't I charming and communicative
enough?
JOHNNY
At worst, they're fickle, crafty, talk to much. And if I
believed the bullshit you were peddling, then I might could
buy that you were a Gemini.
DAISY
So what sign am I then...according to you?
JOHNNY
I dunno. But no damn Gemini.
(beat)
Maybe a Leo.
DAISY
Yeah, why's that?
JOHNNY
I got a feelin' you like the limelight.
DAISY
Yeah? Kinda like you.
JOHNNY
Oh, I don't like the limelight. Can't you see? I like to
lay low.
DAISY
Yeah, but you used to like the limelight. You used to be,
like, one of those people that wants everybody to look at
them...what's that, like a, a narcissist or something...an
exhibitionist.
JOHNNY
Mmm. So you know who I am...
DAISY
Yeah.
JOHNNY
And nobody sent you here.
DAISY
No.
JOHNNY
I could get upset if I find out later somebody sent you.
DAISY
Nobody sent me.
JOHNNY
So which of my movies did you see?
DAISY
I dunno. The titles are all kinda dumb.
JOHNNY
Mmm hmm.
DAISY
You look a lot different than your movies.
JOHNNY
That's because I'm fat now. Incognito, remember? It's all a
parta my plan.
DAISY
You're not fat.
JOHNNY
Nice of you to say.
DAISY
I've seen fatter.
JOHNNY
Hoo ha! She giveth, then she taketh away.
DAISY
How many movies did you do?
JOHNNY
A lot.
DAISY
I mean, do you even remember them all? Johnny Payload...
something...Johnny Payload, All for the Ladies. I think that
was it. That's the one I saw.
(beat)
She was in it.
(pointing to the picture on the
dresser)
Her.
JOHNNY
Yeah, I remember that one. That was the first one she did.
END OF EXCERPT.
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Script created with Final Draft by Final Draft, Inc.